P o p M u s e

THOMAS AND TOM

Who would have thought Rob 
Thomas of Matchbox 20 would 
get wrapped up in this 
TomKat mess? Maybe it will 
help his solo CD sales?  

Independent Sources announced today that it has
uncovered a new, previously undiscovered Tom Cruise
rumor: Tom Cruise and Matchbox Twenty's Rob Thomas are
lovers!

No doubt that anyone with an Internet connection has
read about Tom Cruise being gay. According to rumor
lore, he has had a long-time boyfriend in Chicago who
is an Asian pilot for American Airlines. This is an
accusation that Cruise and more importantly Cruise's
many attorneys vehemently deny.

There have been many stories that supposedly
corroborate his sexuality but never a smoking gun.
Rumor mongers attribute this to the fact that Cruise
goes to great lengths to cover his tracks. We are told
that everyone around him signs extensive
confidentiality contracts with enormous penalties for
indiscretion. (Exhibit A: the 8-page confidentiality
contract Cruise's housekeeper was forced to sign).

Such stories have been around for years and Cruise has
evidently attempted to counter them with a series of
high profile heteronormative relationships. First,
Nicole Kidman, then Penelope Cruz, and most recently
Katie Holmes. In each instance, the "relationship" is
actually a contract that gives the women a boost to
their careers, a lot of money, and an elegant
lifestyle.

Here is where this particular rumor gets interesting.
Not long ago, Marisol, the wife of Matchbox Twenty's
Rob Thomas (who has had to contend with his own rumors
of bi-sexuality) found her husband in bed with Tom
Cruise causing Cruise's people to shift into high
gear.

First, Mrs. Rob Thomas was bought off for an
undetermined sum. Second, Cruise and his handlers set
out to immediately find Cruise a girlfriend.
Second-tier actresses were targeted. A list was drawn
up with Jessica Alba (#1 pick) and three other girls who
fell out for various reasons. Originally targeted (#3
I think) but later rejected as "undesirable" was rumor
queen Lindsay Lohan. Way down at #5 on the list was
Katie Holmes, but that was the one with whom they were
able to strike a deal.

Once the contact was signed, photo ops were set up,
leaks were made to the right places, and we've had
celebrity relationship on steroids ever since.

One thing I will credit this rumor for is how it
nicely explains Tom's behavior this past few
months-including the couch jumping episode on Oprah.
Cruise simply didn't have time for the Holmes rumors
to circulate at its normal speed and he couldn't allow it
to be second page news while the tabloids focused on
Brad, Jennifer and Angelina.

No, this relationship had to immediately become the
"it" topic. Well, that's how we hear it.

Blog Hungry

As PopMuse has been extremely busy creating television art these days (for the day job,) there hasn't been much time for blogging.  But in my absence I'd like to shine a spotlight on a new Blog that PopMuse's Man has started.  It's called BlogHungry, and it's filled with wonderful recipes, funny restaurant reviews, and musings on all things FOOD (Woo's favorite topic.)  It's an entertaining read, check it out!

Missy Makes You Lose Control

I'm flipping my wig over this new Missy track.  I can't handle it.  New CD THE COOKBOOK  July 5th!

Download_Lose_Control

Cult of Personality

This Press Release just landed in my In Box.  Honestly, sometimes I hate living in LA.
IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Contact: Steve Levesque, James Levesque
Luck Media & Marketing, Inc.

(310) 860-9170 info@luckmedia www.luckmedia.com

JACKSON FAMILY ATTORNEY

DEBRA OPRI

SIGNS WITH ICM

 LOS ANGELES, CA _ (June 21st, 2005) It is announced today that celebrity attorney Debra Opri has signed with Babette Perry at International Creative Management (ICM) for agency representation.

Attorney Debra Opri recently represented Michael Jackson's parents Joseph & Katherine during their son's yearlong criminal trial.

Opri has long been the "go to" legal analyst on the Nation's TV and radio news networks for analysis of high-profile court proceedings. The Beverly Hills California based attorney first gained national attention when she successfully represented "The Godfather of Soul" James Brown in a sexual harassment suit.
International Creative Management, Inc. is one of the world's largest talent and literary agencies, with offices in Beverly Hills, New York and London.

Wanna know what else completely creeped me out today?  This article on Katie Holmes' disappearance.  This TomKat story continues to get hotter and hotter by the minute.

Do Not Feed The TomKats

As PopMuse has become the destination for TomKat news I get sent Tomfoolery all day long.  Here's a few things I've enjoyed today.

Tom was assaulted by a Jerky Brit TV Personality posing as a journalist on a WOTW Red Carpet.  It was no laughing matter for Cruise, who had the jokster arrested.

Wanna see Tom Cruise's Proposal to Katie.  (Make sure to read the comments... hilarious!)

And here's an excerpt from an e-mail from PopMuse fan & friend KM:  I saw BATMAN. I am of the opinion that Tom chose Katie after seeing a screener of Batman and realizing how well the villains’ use of a mind-altering drug as a weapon fit into his Scientology publicity campaign. SCARY!!!

WE ARE IN NEED OF A RHYTHM NATION (2)

Janet received a Humanitarian Award this weekend (code for: Publicity Strategy to recover from the bad press of Wacko Jacko trial.)  She was being honored for her AIDS Charity work.  Bless.   She apologized for having no sense of humor, but should have apologized for this wig. 

Here is Janet offering some quality soundbite:
"I pray, right now, that we're moving into a kinder time when prejudice is overcome by understanding; when narrow-mindedness, and narrow-minded bigotry is overwhelmed by open-hearted empathy; when the pain of judgmentalism is replaced by the purity of love."

Hearing this, PopMuse suggests Janet NOT do another Sexhibition CD ("Look at me I'm naked on a CD cover.. Again!") and instead do "Rhythm Nation Vol. 2".  It might be nice for her (or anyone in Pop music) to say something about the State Of the World.  Although I doubt Miss. Jackson has much contact with the world, desperate times call for desperate measures.  So Lady J, the only thing that can really save your career now is the knowledge.

RED CARPET REALNESS

Last night I was on Red Carpet of The Los Angeles Film Festival (for the day job.)  And if I had to hear one more Hollywood-er say "Independent Film is the lifeblood of the film industry..." I was gonna go postal.  (Actually it was Sydney Pollack who said that, to which I felt like replying, "Totally, and I love when you're a guest star on Will & Grace!"  But I didn't.)  I think my night can be best summed up by some teen punks who yelled "PARASITES! PARASITES!" as they walked by.

Note to Elijah Wood: Using the word "man" at the end of a sentence does not make you indie or butch.  "No, thank you MAN!"  Ugh.

The Hot New Couple of the night was Jessica Biel and Chris Evans.  He is so the IT Boy of the moment.  They refused to do red carpet, which is so Indie and IT Couple of them.

Few more notes...  Jason Lee drives a silver Honda Pilot SUV.  I guess Scientology is super expensive.

 
And Rachel Bilson (who was cruising around the Arclight parking lot with O.C. co-star Adam Brody, while I was trying to get outta there...) drives a BMW x5.  Maybe she is method driving?

Oh, and Edward Norton is actually this cool.

Gay Marriage!

After a record 7 weeks of dating, Tom and Katie are ENGAGED!!!  He bent his knee at the top of the Eiffel Tower and proposed, then went straight to a WOTW Press Conference and made the big announcement. 

My favorite part of the videotape from this conference (it's all over TV, don't worry, you'll see it) is when he's asked by a journalist where he bought the ring, and Tom's got absolutely no idea.  I find that telling. 

And talk about telling, "Katie Holmes has taken a solemn vow to stay a virgin until her honeymoon."  Yup, she's saving it for marriage.  How convenient for all parties!  PopMuse groans.

Because defending Child Molesters is so Funny!

Tom Mesereau will drive his 15 minutes of fraudulent fame straight on over to NBC Studios in lovely Burbank California tomorrow night to trade punchlines with Jay Leno.  I can't wait to see that meeting of the soul dead minds. Oh, comedy, sweet sweet comedy.

Somebody's Watching Me

Katie Holmes has a new handler courtesy of Scientology.
As reported in RADAR:  "Holmes’ new Church-assigned handler, Jessica Rodriguez, ascended to the level of “New Operating Thetan IV” (the same as Tom Cruise) in January 2004.
According to sources close to the Church, it means she’s joined the elite group of Scientologists who’ve been enlightened with the six-figure secrets of Xenu, the evil intergalactic ruler who implanted “thetans,” or alien spirits, in earth’s volcanoes 75 million years ago, after which they escaped and invaded human bodies. As a “New OT IV,” Rodriguez has the power to, “control life, thought, matter, energy, space, and time,” according to Scientology’s official web site. Having completed the Church’s “False Purpose Rundown,” Katie’s spiritual escort also has the ability to spot any “suppressive persons” (read: enemies of Scientology, like skeptical journalists and concerned friends and family members) who interact with her celebrity charge. "

An assistant who can 'control life, thought, matter, energy, space and time???'   I can't even find someone to pick up my dry cleaning!

Radar On Cruise Missile

Look, it's a nice distraction from the MJ verdict,  so I'm refocusing my musing back to Crazy Cruise (or is it Totally Tomkat.)  Anyway RADAR had some delicious scoop on the unstoppable Cruise Missile.  Like his Cover Story on Reader's Digest (a mag that had previously called His Church “a highly profitable global racket that survives by intimidating members and critics in a Mafia-like manner.”)  Yum.

Or Super Publicist Pat Kingsley's reported comments on Cruise's Pathetic Press behavior... "Tom has looked like a lot of things, but he’s never looked like a joke.  Thanks to his sister not controlling him, he looks like one.  If I’d been at the [Oprah] taping I would have pulled the plug on every camera and dragged him out of the studio by force.”  Scrumptious.

Thankfully RADAR continues to decipher this Risky Business of Show.  Radar is the new Defamer.

Whatever Lola Wants

Have you heard the song "No Strings" from new Warner Bros. artist Lola?   It's very classy.

Listen here. [NSFW]